Introducing Baby Bond & Birth Story

Introducing Baby Bond & Birth Story | BondGirlGlam.com

On December 10th, 2014, my world changed forever.  Our baby girl, Vienna, was born at 5:44am, weighing 6 pounds, 3 ounces and measuring 19 inches long.  I will never forget hearing her tiny voice for the first time and seeing her little face staring with eyes wide open, as well as feeling her soft warmth against my face.

She was originally due on the 18th, but she made an appearance a little earlier at 39 weeks.

After my regular doctor’s appointment earlier that day, where I had had a non-stress test that showed regular contractions every 10 minutes, I came home to an odd fever and chills.  I called the doctor’s office about it, and the on-call OBGYN told me that I should get checked out at the hospital.  I left my hospital bag in the car, thinking I’d probably just be sent home.  As the hours progressed, the on-call doctor recommended that I stay at the hospital, since I was already full-term and having regular contractions.  My contractions were closer to 5 minutes by then, and if I remember correctly, the painful ones started closer to midnight that Tuesday night.  My water broke during one of those contractions, and the pain went up considerably, at which point I begged for an epidural.

At our first meeting, I had let my OB/GYN know that a vaginal birth was very important to me, and I even asked her what her C-section rate was and what I could do to increase my chances of delivering what I considered “naturally.”  Throughout high school and college, I had volunteered at two local hospitals (including the one I delivered at) and had seen countless vaginal and C-section births — I definitely knew which I preferred.  I thought I was on track for my ideal vaginal birth, since my labor started naturally and my water consequently broke on its own.

Unfortunately, since I was running a fever (which meant there was a possibility of some kind of infection), my water broke with meconium in it (meaning possibly fetal distress), and I was not dilated enough in relation to what they saw on the fetal heart rate monitor (another signal that baby might be in distress), the doctors and nurses decided that it was imperative that I have an emergency C-section.  My entire pregnancy had been normal and healthy, so hearing the word “C-section” as a possibility was incredibly upsetting.

It wasn’t the scar that scared me (that’s what the nurses seemed to think I was worried about when I didn’t want to sign the consent forms).  I didn’t want major abdominal surgery; I didn’t want to be cut into.  I had prepared for a vaginal delivery mentally and emotionally; for weeks now I had been going through the motions in my head and giving myself pep talks about how well baby and I would do.  I wanted to continue laboring in that room instead of being wheeled into a surgical theater.

However, doctors and nurses kept coming into my room and repeating how important it was to start the surgery now as well as urging me to sign the consent forms as they frantically prepped for C-section.  When my own OB/GYN arrived around 5 am, she also told me that a C-section was the right choice given the circumstances; I felt I had no choice but to oblige, especially since my doctor who’d seen me from 7 weeks’ gestation was on board too.  I was frustrated, because mother’s intuition told me that I was doing fine, since my contractions started on their own and my water broke naturally too, yet I also realized something could have been really wrong with my precious baby.  I completely realize that the staff was doing their job and just following hospital protocol, but I really wish the tests that were run could have somehow come back within hours instead of days later to show whether or not I actually had the infection that worried everyone.

I sadly and slowly signed the consent form and held onto the clipboard a few seconds longer before giving it back to my nurse.  It felt like my life and my baby’s life were now completely in the hands of mostly strangers.  I remember my husband telling me through teary eyes that everything would be okay and that we had to do this for the baby.

Since there was meconium in the amniotic fluid, the NICU staff was huddled and ready around the incubator/bassinet; I think there were about 30 people in the operating room because of the extra staff.  Although I couldn’t see much because of the blue backdrop that’s usually put up with C-sections to create a sterile environment, I had seen this procedure enough times that I basically knew what everyone was doing.  I just couldn’t believe I was the one on the table; it was my first time being the patient in a hospital.

Soon after, I heard her little voice make the sweetest sound and couldn’t believe she was here and all ours.  I couldn’t see her for some time as she was being cleaned up and checked out by the NICU staff (my husband was with her, though), but I listened intently for any clues about her health and what she looked like and the moment I’d finally see her.  Finally, a nurse brought her to my face and I got to see my sweet little swaddled bundle with wide open eyes; I kissed her and cried as we touched face to face for about a minute before she was whisked away to the NICU floor.

Don’t get me wrong, the hospital staff did an excellent job, and I am forever grateful for their skills and professionalism in taking care of me and my baby, but as a first time mom, I felt robbed of so many special moments in my delivery because of hospital protocol.  My mystery fever caused me to miss out on the “golden hour” of getting to know my new baby skin-to-skin and learning how to breastfeed.  I naively never, ever thought that could even be a possibility for me.  In fact, I wasn’t allowed to see her, apart from a few minutes when she was held up against my face as I was being sewn back up, until about 28 hours after delivery.  She had to stay upstairs in the NICU for 48 hours total as a precaution, and I had to stay in my recovery room for 24 hours after my fever subdued for the same reason.

It was incredibly unfair to be separated from my baby, and I’m balling my eyes out, barely able to read this screen, as I go back over and remember what happened.  Family and friends were able to visit her almost anytime, and I watched them go upstairs to see her over and over.  Sat in my room, still attached to all the monitors and machines, I stared at the clock, counting down until the moment I could go up there to hold her for the first time ever.  She was my baby, and I was torn away from her.  I couldn’t feel her sweet little kicks in my tummy anymore, yet I also couldn’t hold her in my arms.  It was surreal and unnatural.

About 28 hours passed since delivery, and the time finally came to go upstairs and hold my little Vienna for the first time.  My husband took me up to NICU floor, where I put her delicate 6 pound-something body against my own after what seemed like the longest wait ever.  She was so warm and lovely, and her skin was velvety soft.  Every little sound she made was precious, and I wanted to protect even the tiniest hair on her head.  I spent hours there until I really needed my pain meds for the incision, feeling like I had to make up for lost time.  I would go up there and feed her every couple hours until she was discharged to go back downstairs to me.

Introducing Baby Bond & Birth Story | BondGirlGlam.com

First time holding my little girl

 

Introducing Baby Bond & Birth Story | BondGirlGlam.com

In the NICU

 

Introducing Baby Bond & Birth Story | BondGirlGlam.com

Donning the Christmas hospital hat

 

Introducing Baby Bond & Birth Story | BondGirlGlam.com

Finally back in my recovery room

 

Sure enough, the 48 hours passed, baby’s tests came back looking great, and she came back down to my recovery room with me.

Both the NICU nurses and the postpartum team were so helpful in our recoveries; I couldn’t have asked for a nicer or more helpful staff.

It’s rather unfortunate that my birth story didn’t go anywhere near how I wanted (that birth plan in my diaper bag was never even touched), but on the flip side, it’s incredibly fortunate that there never was any infection and that both Vienna and I are healthy and doing well.  I’m also grateful for persevering and becoming a breastfeeding champ against all odds, which was important to me.  Even more so, I’m thankful for having a job that allows me to stay at home with Vienna — and that’s thanks to you supporting me and reading my blog.

Here she is, all safe at home…

Introducing Baby Bond & Birth Story | BondGirlGlam.com

Introducing Baby Bond & Birth Story | BondGirlGlam.com

Introducing Baby Bond & Birth Story | BondGirlGlam.com

Introducing Baby Bond & Birth Story | BondGirlGlam.com

 

On Baby Vienna:

Floral Headband // Bamboo Swaddle Blanket

 

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xoxoirinakiss

23 Comments

  • letticia.rose@yahoo.com'
    Reply January 5, 2015

    lettirose

    I’m sad you didn’t have it happen the way you wanted but like you said: it’s wonderful that you both are so healthy and ok! Would you recommend woman go into labor prepared with both scenarios or would you recommend they choose one and try their hardest to stick to it? I’m only 6 weeks 5 days so I have awhile 🙂

    • Reply January 5, 2015

      Irina Bond

      Congratulations! I’d say pick one but educate yourself on all the possibilities just in case. xo

  • avakulich@yahoo.com'
    Reply January 5, 2015

    Anna

    Such a precious girl. Your family sure is blessed. Congratulations!

  • zkekana@yahoo.com'
    Reply January 5, 2015

    ZukiMthi

    Wow Irina, your brevity to share this intimate birth story in spite of its imperfect peaks and troughs has truly inspired me. Thank you so so much for sharing. Our baby is due in less than a month and I find myself holding on to my “most natural” birth plan with less flexibility with each passing day. Not because I’m oblivious to the possibility that absolutely anything could happen on that day, but because it has taken so much of my willpower and conviction to even get to this point of embracing and looking forward to a vaginal birth, that I’m a little terrified to consider other possibilities. Thank you for a refreshingly honest perspective. Congratulations to you for being a warrior-mom, and to you and your family on the safe arrival of your Baby V.

    • Reply January 5, 2015

      Irina Bond

      Congratulations!! You will do well, no matter what happens! xo

  • m........@gmail.com'
    Reply January 5, 2015

    Magda

    Congratulations, my dear! She is so lovely! I absolutely admire Vienna.
    Best wishes to You, Irina, and to your family!

  • thecolorpalette.blog@gmail.com'
    Reply January 5, 2015

    the color palette

    She looks adorable, she is one of the cutest newborn babies I’ve ever seen. congratulations

  • bleudogmom@gmail.com'
    Reply January 5, 2015

    Shawna Henrie

    I too, Irina had meconium with my last son Dane…I will tell you that story when I see you on Saturday, but it was an interesting one to say the least. The power of mother’s intuition cannot be mistaken, however the physicians who are left in charge of our destiny at this time have a huge responsibility in the safe delivery of our little ones. I did it 5 times, and every birth different and unique. Your beautiful Vienna is safe in your arms now…doesnt matter how she got here, she’s here, and Im glad she’s safe and sound. Cant wait to see you and get some photos of your babe…Hugs to you momma Bond! XXOO

    • Reply January 5, 2015

      Irina Bond

      You’re absolutely right – they have huge responsibility on their shoulders, and mother’s intuition isn’t very quantifiable in science although still very real. It’s been too long! See you soon! xo

  • […] Introducing Baby Bond & Birth Story […]

  • mommyinmilwaukee@gmail.com'
    Reply January 6, 2015

    Keila

    I am so sorry you didn’t have the birth you had hoped for. Your feelings are valid! And every mother deserves to have the birth they planned. I hope these next few months as you recover you find peace with how your sweetie arrived. Sending you lots of positive thoughts your way! And congratulations again! your daughter is beautiful!
    Xo,Keila

  • sara_saroni@yahoo.com'
    Reply January 8, 2015

    Sara Bogdan

    Congratulations! She is beautiful! I am sorry about your unplanned c-section, but I am glad you both are healthy and doing great 🙂 I remeber when I had a struggle with breastfeeding my little one and not being able to provide her the nutrition she needed. I felt like a failure, like I wasn’t a good mother (it also didn’t help that others reminded me of that as well) but now that she is almost 2! (I can’t believe it!) healthy and doing well, all of those struggles don’t matter anymore. All that matters is my precious little girl and her health. 🙂

    • Reply January 8, 2015

      Irina Bond

      Thank you for your kind and encouraging words! Yes, the most important thing is health. xo

  • […] Introducing Baby Bond & Birth Story […]

  • laurenlapointe@gmail.com'
    Reply January 14, 2015

    Lauren

    Thank you so much for sharing this! I am expecting my first in May and I loved reading your story.

  • ademko10@gmail.com'
    Reply January 14, 2015

    Anna D Kart

    You are one brave mama! Similar situation happen to me when I was delivering my first child and unfortunately I ended up with a C-section. It’s hard when you know it’s out of your control but I wish sometimes the hospitals wouldn’t be so rigid with protocol. I’m going to try to do VBAC this time around in a different hospital with more holistic approach.
    Thank you for sharing!
    Love all the precious baby pictures

    happymedley.blogspot.com

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